Soul searching

I have allot more to do….in my case if u talk to me in a normal tone in a nice way I retain all the information if u get loud or yell it goes in one ear out the other….

My son and husband told me I am worse mentally now then I was a year ago….I’m on meds 1 is an injection….am I losing it? I feel alright….

I have to soul search because I do have I don’t give a shit attitude and it causes problems in my house….my emotions have dulled with this disease….

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Very bad manic episode

I have been sick on meds almost 5 years…when it first came on I had crazy manic episodes but when I got my meds strait they calmed down….

4 days ago I started feeling crazy…shaking my mind spinning….I took my night drugs trying to knock myself out because I was ready to whip my face off…my doc appt was today he didn’t change my meds…he said a schizoaffective person can have manic episodes…

scared the crap out of me…I felt better today when I woke up but for 3 days I didn’t sleep or eat.

Not content

My husband works all day leaving me alone at home with no car…my 16 year old is here but he stays in his room…I clean do laundry….draw color watch tv…..I am bored and I hate it…time goes by so slow
I want my old life back…worked full time…always had money…went to the gym 6 days a week…had friends…..my disease scared all my friends away…
I am thankful I get disability but the life style sucks! My boredness gets me annoyed which makes me angry….